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Who doesn't love a good Mitch Hedberg meme?

Who doesn't love a good Mitch Hedberg meme?

Male giraffes will test a female's fertility by tasting her urine.

I've been thinking a lot today about my future.  I haven't decided if that's a good thing or a bad thing. Usually, I don't think about it much.  I don't even contribute to my 401K anymore because I'm sure I won't live that long.  I'm sitting outside at Panera as I'm in love with the Poppyseed Strawberry Salad. The lady next to me is about to give her kid Shaken Baby Syndrome.  She keeps shaking it and saying "you're a little baby" in a weird voice. Shoutout to April and her new baby. I hope they name it Pickles. I don't even know if it's a girl or a boy but Pickles is genderless I think.  Yesterday my mom was saying how she watched a trans surgery from male to female. I don't think I've ever heard her say the word "clit" more in my life.  If you know my parents you know they are very open so it's surprising.  People at my work think they are hippies.  My dad is pretty much famous there because of the time I sent around a picture of him in his mankini.  I would share it with you but he has destroyed any evidence of it. I really want a cookie but I'm going to resist. I'm about to go to target to return something but I know I will end up at the book store. We have a love-hate relationship because I love to buy books but my bank account hates when I do.  I need someone to slap my hand. Well I'm off to do productive things.  Peace my friends.

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